Monday, September 19, 2016

Dream a Final Destination

Friday I had a great day!  On the spur of the moment, I decided to buy a ticket to the Orioles game.  I left work early and parked at the top of the parking garage of the Horseshoe Casino.  It has a nice view, but boy it was hot and the park was about 1 mile away.   To me this corner of Baltimore reminds me of a real live train garden with a great panoramic view from the top of the parking garage.   Standing up there when the train goes by is better than any train garden I have ever seen.  You have raised highway, light rail, the street,  stadiums, casino, billboards, industrial towers, industrial tanks, church steeples, way to the south you can see planes coming and going, Middle Branch Trail, hospitals, Middle branch of the Patapsco river, and of course the trains.  I wish that all that park here could see the great train garden that runs through my mind.
 After a very a aggressive walk of 1.2 miles in the sweltering heat, I took my seat.  No, first I nearly collapsed at the top of the stairs, but a couple of beers and a hot dog cured me.  That 2 beer at a time policy is awesome when your by yourself!  I was in a hurry to see the 50th anniversary of the 1966 Orioles championship.  The played a cool 40 minute video that went trough highlights and video from all four games.  The whole time I was trying to clear my phone for some video of the ceremony.  I was able to grab about 2 minutes at the end to get my Mom's and nearly everyone's favorite Brooks Robinson!  During the game,  I sat next to a man who was a semi-pro baseball player and it was great talking baseball with him.  Bad news was I had to leave early to pickup my girlfriend at work.  On the way back I remembered my friend Sue and found her to say hi and bye.  "Great seats," I exclaimed as I walked back up the stairs.  Walking back past the statues of Johnny Unitas and Ray Lewis I was exhausted!  I stopped and bought a Gatorade and told the merchant,  "I'm not sure I'll make it."   She replied, "Your big and strong you will be okay especially after you drink that Gatorade!"  Now, I really had an extra bounce in my step.  I tried to take a picture with Ray Lewis, but my phone was filled to capacity with videos.  I have passed Ray several Times and for some reason or another I never can get that picture!  It was one of the best times I have ever had at the park just me and the game, a great neighbor to talk all about baseball,  and no bullshit. It was around 9:00 PM and there was still plenty of daylight as I reached my girlfriend and presented her with the free T-shirt from the game.  There is no one else on earth more excited to receive a good T-shirt!  We got something to eat and later when I went to sleep tired and happy with no troubles on my mind.  Then there was this dream.

It appears to be a nice sunny day and many people are out and about.  I'm sitting in my car with my girlfriend at what appears to be a large opening that leads to a busy road/highway.  Maybe the entrance to a park.  I say this because at my right a large group of teenage/college kids are gathered and having a great time.  They are standing around a blue convertible with the back of the car facing the highway. After some cheering and yelling a bunch them jump into the convertible and speed out into the highway in reverse.  They appear to make it okay and cross into the far lane.  I proceed to also enter the highway.   After a few seconds something happens.  There is a huge accident that causes a chain reaction.  Cars are going everywhere and I see the convertible getting wiped out in the distance.  Then a large truck trailer comes wobbling towards me and begins to fall on top of  us.  I hear my girlfriend yell "Woe Woe Woe!" Its as clear as hearing it right now.  I have this real feeling that we are going to die and I'm not upset about dying, but I have this the most horrible feeling that my friend will also die.  Quickly,  I try and reverse the car, but I believe it's too late, the dream goes black and I wake up in tears.

For the next day every time I thought or talked about it I began to tear up.  When I think of the dream my girlfriend's Woe Woe Woe was as real as when she says it when I drive her to around and she thinks I get to close or somebody starts to pull out in front of us.  It was terribly troubling and the feeling of us dying felt extremely real.  Girlfriend told me to stop talking about the dream.  She knows how I like to analyze and link together random events.  She tells me dreams like that mean you will have a long life,  which  I shrug off as a good way to clam children who have such a dream.  Anyway, I will pay close attention to any and all trucks around me.  That night we watched  X-men Apocalypse and as we sat int the theater a large ship freight trailer did appear to come towards us during the movie.  Maybe the future can't tell the difference between a movie and reality.  I continue to be on the lookout for any trucks.  Then on Thursday that horrible truck attack occurred in Nice, France.  I could not help but find some similarities.  I pray for everyone and those who were killed.  We all must be vigilante.  I will continue to be wary of  trucks.

Dream a Final Destination

Monday, July 4, 2016

Flag a Grave

It's 4th of July weekend and I'm shopping for a few random things. I think about grabbing many things, including a flag for my father's grave, but I walk out the store with only a disposable liter box for Shoes the cat.  

Leaving the store, I still feel compelled to go to the cemetery even without the flag. Due to this compelling feeling and heavy shopping center traffic, I head towards the cemetery which was not the most direct way home. On the way, the thought occurred to me again. I thought I will stop and place a flag at my father's grave. Okay I will stop, but I don't have the flag now? Then, as if someone else was speaking to me,  I heard:

"One will be provided" 

Now I had all these crazy daydream thoughts of flags laying loose about the cemetery and, for a moment, had crazy thought about a stand at the gate selling flags lol! Finally,  I was there at the cemetery and no loose flags were around and that big stand selling flags was no where in sight. Standing there in front of my Dad's grave thinking, what am I doing here, I suddenly get this feeling, a thought, possibly a voice that says:

"Walk up the pathway"

Pathway to the Sermon on the Mount

What, walk up that pathway? It's behind me, in the opposite direction, and away from any of my relatives, but I start up the pathway to the statue of the Sermon on the Mount. Wait, I have been up this path before, only a few months earlier on the anniversary of my Dad's death and it gave me an uneasy feeling. Just like before,  I begin to feel an uneasiness and uncomfortable tightness in the chest. Here comes the voice again. It says:

"You forgot something the last time you were here"

I start thinking, maybe I gave no mind to all these graves last time.  So I started looking and glancing at the names.   I see a vase with flowers toppled over and I walk off the path and fix it.  Again I follow up the path.  I'm starting to feel that there really is going to be a flag up here!  When I get to the end I think, this is ridiculous!  There is no flags up here! I decide I should walk around the statue anyway.  And there it was a small old worn flag with no stick.  I was excited that there actually was a flag up here, but I can't use that flag.  Then I heard:

"You can use the duck tape in your car, pick up the flag"

Okay, I'll give it a try.  I bent over at an angle and as I started up I came face to face with the picture of a young women on the front of a bench memorial.  I was drawn to the grave and looked up the name with my cell phone.  The young women had been killed in a horrible accident.  Something compelled me.  I made the sign of the cross and knelt down before the grave and said a small prayer.  After I was done, I thanked her for the flag and felt great as I walked back down the path.

Happy 4th of July

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Friends on the 4th of July

I don't make or keep friends.  Really, I could not name a true friend that I have, excluding siblings and their siblings, parent, and girlfriend.  Many feel family is the only friends you really need while others feel their friends are there real family?  I know I can be a great friend and that I can make friends easy enough.  I just don't.  Some days it feels somewhat depressing.  The feeling that I’m over here and everyone else is over there, what am I missing?  Most times, it's a great Feeling, I'm over here and everyone else is over there!  Man, are they missing some great stuff, they have no idea.  Many times friends really get things done for you, but plenty of times you end up getting things done to you.  Lack of friends is really going to kill my political career?  Often, there can be good opportunities through friends,   I miss those, but there is also the benefit of be excluded from the bad opportunities.  I have had a few good work and college friends, but they are always different, temporary friends or friends with a border or expiration dates.  Maybe I could have improved these friendships and I guess they could have as well.  I feel my opportunities for alms-giving have been very limited.  Although, friendship is not required, it might be easiest just to help some of your many friends.

Sometimes I think I have some different definition of friendship.  I don't see this expansive sharing of experiences through time.  There is no work involved or building friendship.    Many times I feel that a friendship is just simple moment in time.  You meet and your friends.  There is no work required.  Maybe later or maybe the friendship just fades away.  I probably don't care, but sometimes I think the other person might?  I doubt it.  Worst is when you feel that way towards a person and they just aren’t feeling it.  What was there has faded away or never existed.  That 1 spark was not enough to sustain such a reaction.   Lately, I have tried to conform to a broader and traditional sense of friendship.  Few people feel things and operate the same with me.  Just sensing friendship may not be enough.  Many times that will not sustain a friendship.  I can see that many need constant pleasantries and reaffirmation of friendship.  So, I attempt to oblige.  The truth is I’m mostly ill prepared to speak with people.  Like, Oh we have to talk to each other?  You talking to me?  It’s like I was created to speak telepathically and no one can hear me.  Sometimes they can hear me. I know they can!  

I thought you were my friend?

When I was in the first grade I had a friend.  I’m going to call him Chris.  You know everybody wants to be cool.  I was not a clean boy and I certainly was not trying to be cool.  Shit cool people just are cool and there isn’t any wanting about it.  Chris would always try and hang with whatever crowd was popular, but we were always friends.  By the 8th grade he began to be very unfriendly to me.  One day at gym class, we were running laps around the school and I circle back around and came face to face with Chris.  I questioned him.  I asked him if he was my friend.  I was hurt, but had to act mad and told him that I thought we were friends.  He just seemed to laugh it off and never answered me.  I let him run past.  That was it, we never talked much again.  I still always considered him my friend. 

25 years later, I’m sitting in a bar watching the Orioles play in the 1 game playoff to advance to the divisional round of the playoffs.  I’m drinking glass after glass of $1 natty bohs and towards the end of the game, there he was.  Chris had entered the bar and was standing right behind me!  It was a glorious reunion we talked and talked and drank shot after shot.  And this is what Chris told me.  First, he was terrified when I confronted him.  He thought I wanted to fight or kill him!  He said I was his first friend ever and even remembered what I could not, that I walked up to him and became his friend.  He was a new student and did not know anyone and I was his friend.   What he said next is what really blew me away!  He said that all these years he never ever forgot that moment.  Furthermore, he had thought about that moment and it changed forever how he thought about people and friendship.  That he would never do that to anyone else and he hated what had happened.  You should see the pictures we are so drunk and happy with Chris hugging me constantly that we look like a couple!  We are so cool.

Are you Life?

What a great line to remember.  I was riding my bike and came across the 2 boys that lived next to me.  They were best friends and I was just the other boy.  I eventually became good friends with 1 of them when the other moved away.  They rode by with a warning.  Hey, watch out those kids across the street are throwing rocks and trying to start a fight!    Truth is I was not even allowed across the street, but I was looking for friends.  When I got to the road there they were some younger kids yelling and trying to provoke me across the street.  They ran back through the alleyway and there was their house. Them and now their older brother, will call him Kevin, began throwing rocks.  Kevin was about my age and built smaller than me, but man they were so wild and fun.  Much funnier and cooler than the jerks on my side of the street!  Anyway, Kevin came across the alley like a ninja super hero throwing rocks all around and I rode my bike right trough them and acted like I was unphased when a few of them hit me.  They were impressed and amazed, but I don’t remember the exact verbal exchange.  I know I did for awhile.  I can still see their faces.  CoolKevin and his little brother making funny goofy shocked faces.  I believe it was the next day when we came face to face without all the rocks flying.  I still remember the corner where we met.  He said to me, Are you Life?  He could see I was confused and followed up with one or both of the following, Have you heard of Life or do you know Life?  Finally, I understood what he was saying, but a person named Life?  In a question I replied, Life Magazine? I have heard of Life Magazine.  Now he was confused for a minute!  After this moment of confusion, I was probably laughing and he had no idea why, Kevin sad I thought you were Life.  He may have even said I look like Life.  I’m not sure I ever met Life who knows.  With this confirmation that I was not Life or with his gang, I was invited to join Kevin’s gang. You want to be in my gang?  I accepted and we became friends.  I sometime wonder about life.  At that immediate time, I thought one day our gangs would meet in an alley or something one day.  I hope to know Life one day! 

Friends on the 4th of July

I will call him Austin.  He is the only reason I have typed any of this garbage.  Growing up we were never friends.    We were more like friendly acquaintances.  Basically, only crossed paths after my sister married his brother.  We had different groups of friends that crossed paths from time to time over the years.  I saw him in later years in stores, delivering food to my house, and on the bus.  I had heard that he had a daughter, but also had trouble with drugs and alcohol.  Even that he had spent time in prison.  All of these bad things were surprisingly very disappointing to me.  I really hardly knew him. 

On July 4th, 2013, I went to the local fireworks show with my girlfriend and a jug of leftover vodka blueberry mix leftover from my birthday.  It was not too strong and I had made it for my sister.  We split the drink and enjoyed the fireworks.  I even have some pictures and a video!    When the lights came back on we saw my former brother in law and his family which included Austin.  All said high as they headed home, but Austin seemed very excited to see me and we struck up a very long conversation.  At first I just wanted to leave and continue our hi-how-are-you relationship, but Austin really wanted to talk.  Austin was amazed and perplexed to see me doing so well.  I had told him that I had graduated college and even though I used to hang with a crowd that became pretty hardcore drug addicts, I was able to stay away from drug and alcohol addictions.  I told him that I only drink excessively at various holidays and sporting events.  He opened up to me a little and said that he was an alcoholic.  What he described did not sound like an alcohol addiction and I had heard it was much worse.  Austin was looking and looking for some magical formal or answer about how he could quit drinking and be a better person.  There was some confusion and we discussed a lot of things.  How could I help him?  I was not an alcoholic who quit?  Although, as a teenager, he probably saw and heard of my crazy excessive drinking habits.   Then some how it happened, There was something I wanted to tell him.  We decided to tell each other what we thought of each other all those years ago.

I told him that I always saw him as a good smart person.  That he was like some type of throwback hippie that would smoke some weed and I stay away from the harder drugs and excessive drinking.   I told him that I held him in my mind with higher regard than others.  I told him that I still see him this way.    I told him that years later I saw him and his brother on the bus and they appeared very high, when I looked at him in my mind he looked like a different person and I was disappointed.  I told him when people would say things about him I would never believe it.  Of course he was blown away by these statements.  What did he think about me?  I just thought you were some drunken asshole looking to fight and cause trouble.    It was like seeing our futures in each other in the past.  Although, there is a lot of trouble making drunken asshole in me and I know there is a lot of good in Austin.  It was very strange boundary we crossed and we kept talking for hours.  We walked back to his brother’s house and continue to talk virtually ignoring all around us.  Austin seemed to be looking for that moment for something to click or rub off or the answer to an impossible question.  All about how he wanted to go to school and help his daughter.  That he had trouble finding work.  I reaffirmed that you are who I thought you were and that you can overcome and to not give up.  Finally, he walked us through a shortcut and took us to our car.  One last time he seemed to be pleading for answers.  He told us many of the bad things he had done to hurt his friends and family.  We felt so bad and pleaded for him not to give up.  He pulled a bottle of liquor he was hiding from behind his back and poured it out proclaiming his new beginning!   I promised to be his friend. 

I had no idea how to be his friend.  Everyone I asked told me that he was into too drugs and robbing people and all kind of things.  I insisted to them he says its only alcohol even when I knew it was not true.  Austin called me several times and I did not answer.  One message he stated that he wants to write some type of book/journal and he thinks I could be a bug help and a part of the story.  I just could not see how to be his friend.  This idea intrigued me and I hoped that one day circumstances would change and we would meet and explore this book.  Austin left me several messages.  I saved a few.  The last were discouraged requests to fix his father’s computer.  At church the priest once said that it takes a miracle for someone to change their life around.  Recent experiences lead me to believe this to be true.  Austin needs a friend and a miracle.  I could not give him either one.   

The miracle would never happen.  Austin is dead.  The circumstances do not matter.  When I heard about it I spent my whole day at work and all night writing and rewriting this story.    I dreamt about saying all these things at his funeral.  In the end, I scrapped it and never completely shared my thoughts.  When speaking I could never fully explain.  Sending it telepathically would have been ideal.  Perhaps my sister heard me?  I pray Austin does hear me.  I still mean what I said and never extinguished the possibilities of our friendship and the great book we would write.  You were who I thought you were. 

Maybe it’s all just a con.

I have found more video from the fireworks in 2013 thanks to FB memories.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Father's Death

I was driving home from work this week and began to think about what was my first experience with death? Not understanding why this thought came into my head, I did not shrug it off. Quickly, the death of my father flooded my mind.  I did not push it away. For some reason I wanted to think through and explore my memory further. It was as if there was something I needed to remember or discover.  I remember the funeral.

It was not hard, I was in shock. The moment I first saw my father laying there, my thoughts were still on the living. I remember how thin and flat my father's stomach was and thinking he would be happy he had lost his beer belly. I can remember him joking at the dinner table.  He had recently been eating better to lose weight for the National Guard. Suddenly,  I realized that thinking this way about my father just did not matter anymore.  I remember kissing my father. When I stretched and extended myself across and quickly kissed my father, what I can not forget, is how my front teeth came across his face.  It was hard and some makeup got in my mouth.  I thought dad would not wear makeup?  It was still hard to believe what was happening.  My memory has me not crying much at the funeral. Why don't I remember the crying?

My thoughts went further back to the hospital.  I'm sure I entered the room, but all my memories are from the doorway.  A full body image of my father laying across the hospital bed and thinking that is not my father.  Maybe here is where I had a sense that my father was gone, but prayed for his return. I tried to remember the exact moment when I was told my father had died.  I could only remember sitting on the couch in my grandparents foyer crying and sitting with my sister and my mom.  Mom Mom came and handed us diaries to write down any of our feelings.  They were really nice books.  I used mine for a few years after.  I wonder if I can still find it.  While writing,  I do remember Pop Pop coming out of the car and breaking the horrible news right away.  I believe he said you father as gone to heaven.  How did I grieve?  What happened when the shock had worn off?

I remember, I was sick and I would not leave my bed.  I would swear that I could still smell the funeral home in my room.  Now I began to tear up as I drove down the highway.   I was scared, but there it was at the base of the backboard a single nail hammered flat against the wood.  I remembered how the nail got there and having to face my father.  The memory of this had me full out crying and I thew on my sunglasses.    

I had taken a nail and hammered only part way into the base of the backboard of the bed.  Not sure how it came about, perhaps my sister dared or coaxed me into it.  I remember sitting on the floor and my father on the bed.  Something felt different about it.  He was mad in a more crazy way and as a child I could not understand, but now as an adult I have the feeling that he is stressed out over larger things in his life.  I'm cleaning up my room and he is sitting on the bed taking a minute to consider what to do with the nail.  There is a brief exchange about why I did it and what to do with the nail.  I can't remember it all.  Dad takes the hammer and carefully hammers the nail flush into the base of the backboard.  I sit on the floor confused for a moment.  Dad is mad, but with a devious smile as if he were also happy.  He almost looks crazy as he fights back a smile.  While driving down the road I feel it.  I feel that he was stressed out and then relieved and relaxed.  The base did not split or splinter and did not add to the stress of the day,  a small victory.  It felt as if I could feel my Dad again.  Like I had relived this one moment with a new perspective.   These thoughts and memories were so strong that I found myself driving down the highway crying like a baby.

Meaning?  Of course everyone always looks for meaning and symbolism.

Dad is in Heaven and always with us.

The nail in the coffin.  Dad's expression and the act of hammering in the nail represents the final nail in his coffin and all of ours.

Are you the hammer or the nail?  How about this symbolizes in relating to stress.  Perhaps Dad felt like the nail that day and now he hammers the nail?  Or to me - Son when are you going to hammer that nail?  Are you ever going to hammer that nail and get your house in order?

The range of emotions from mad to relief as he hammers in the nail.  In the end their is relief and happiness?  The nail and the hammer represent life and death.

It means nothing, everything, and anything whenever and however I want forever and whatever.

For the record, I never call my Dad,  father.  Always Dad or Daddy, but it makes me sad now to use it. Although, I notice a switched to dad while writing.

I feel so displaced on father's day.  Not a problem, I feel this way most days

In the end I tried to remember moments when dad was happy.

  • When he visited his mom and dad!
  • In the mornings when we would sneak out and go to the store together,
  • Growing those big tomatoes.
  • Preparing out fishing equipment for the ultimate fishing trip.  
  • Feeling like Jesus in those sandals!
  • Watching and talking about Star Trek and Star Wars movies  
  • Crabbing and being down the shore with the family!
  • Family gatherings for the holidays!
  • Coming home from guard camp.
  • Having a window battle with the new automatic windows!
  • Working around the house and yard!
  • Preparing and having the big New Year's Eve party!
  • Cooking out and enjoying the grill!
  • Wrestling around the floor with kids until someone accidentally hits him in the face!
  • Completing the install of the big pool!
  • Dad's special home fries!
  • Every Payday when we all went out for some food!
  • Bring home Gil's Pizza!
  • When I dangled my legs off the bay bridge!
  • Taking photographs!
  • Getting the new TV and Special order of a VCR.  He was so excited we picked it up at the warehouse when it was not in the store yet.
  • Throwing me in the pool in my uniform when our little league team went undefeated! I can still feel the pool water flowing up my nose! 
  • The Christmas tree, Decorations, and the Train Garden!
I could go on and on!  Love you Dad!

Thursday, May 5, 2016

May 5, 1984

May 5, 1984
Every year I try and think back.  
I worry one day nothing will be there!
For years I wrote a list of all I could remember!
I repeated these things in my mind all day!
I wonder what happened that day?
 Something must be there!
Fast Walker in outer space?
Is that you?
Swale wins the Kentucky derby!
Your Father, Seattle Slew!
You tried so hard to make him proud.
Two out of Three makes me scream out loud!

On June 17, 1984, eight days after the Belmont Stakes, Swale collapsed and died en route to his stall following a bath.[4] He was buried at Claiborne Farm.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Jesus in the Clouds! - The Short Version

I was starting to get dark, the weather looked ominous, and the O's game was starting.  I decided to forgo the first few innings and meditate.  Was thinking about Prince, my own death, and my recently renewed commitment to Faith and to Church.  While contemplating all of these things and questioning my commitment, I picked up a beer and leaned back in my chair and took a big drink.  With my head back coming forward,  I noticed something happening in the sky. The wind had picked up and the clouds appeared to move rapidly.  I felt like something was happening.  Was Jesus about to answer my doubts?  And there it was, I could not believe my eyes, a huge penis!  No wait that can't be right!  Leaning back further and as the clouds continued to move,  it appeared to be an arm and I followed it to what looked  like the side profile of a man.  I identified this as Jesus!  Frantically,  I tried to process the entire image, but finally reached for my phone and took a picture.  After, just a few seconds later all was calm.

The Picture does not do it justice.  It all happened in seconds and the image was huge.  It was all of the sky I could see with my head bent all the way back.  Part of the image appears to have already been distorted and leaves me with a mystery.

Full and crazy version of this story here:

Monday, April 25, 2016

Jesus In Sky with Michelob Amberbock Dark Lager?

The Beer

Where should I start?  With the beer?  Okay, I was out Friday looking for some beer.  Reviewing the endless variations of craft beers when over in the adjacent fridge I found a real bargain!  Hey look its my old friend Michelob for $6.99 a six pack.  Back before craft beers you were a nice change with a distinct taste of drinking through camp fire smoke filter.  It used to be in that cool lady bottle with gold label and game piece tab  that if you rip off  and take out the Es in the world beer you just might be lucky or get lucky or maybe a kiss or something else entirely?   Then, I noticed that it was not normal Michelob, it was Amberbock, but the label with its 3 gold coins, suggests it won some awards 100 years ago.  What the hell it's on clearance and cold.  I will drink a few of these in the backyard.

The Backyard

The backyard scene was questionable.  It was cloudy  and maybe it was going to rain.  My instincts told me no and I can fit in a few beers in the yard.  The beer was great, I ate a spicy jumbo big bite with chili and cheese and the beer paring was fantastic.   I have also found Michelob to mix well with mango ice cream.  So good in fact, that I dumped a beer in the Ice cream container (after eating most of it) and created a Michelob Mango ice cream float!  I still remember it fondly!  It was great, I was wearing my Body by Beer Shirt and everything!   I need to get that shirt back in my rotation.  Today, I will have a new Michelob Memory.  Lets reset this thing again.

The Jesus

Finally, it was starting to get dark, the weather looked ominous, and the O's game was starting.  I decided to forgo the first few innings and meditate while guzzling down some beer.  Was thinking about Prince, my own death, and my recently renewed commitment to Faith and going to church.  While contemplating all of these things and questioning my commitment, I pick up the Michelob leaned back in my chair and took a huge swig of about 3/4 the bottle.  With my head back coming forward,  I noticed something happening in the sky. The wind had picked up and the clouds appeared to move rapidly.  I felt like something was happening.  Was Jesus about to answer my doubts?  And there it was, I could not believe my eyes, a huge penis!  No wait that can't be right!  Leaning back further and as the clouds continued to move,  it appeared to be an arm and I followed it to what looked  like the side profile of a man.  I identified this as Jesus!  Frantically,  I tried to process the entire image, but finally reached for my phone and took a picture.  After, just a few seconds later all was calm and I could not believe what had just happened.  I grabbed another Michelob and chugged that sucker down!

The Research 

The Picture does not do it justice.  It all happened in seconds and the image was huge.  It was all of the sky I could see with my head bent all the way back.  Part of the image appears to have already been distorted and leaves me with a mystery.  What is in front of Jesus' hand?  What did it all mean?  I have come to find that Jesus with his palm down in artwork normally represents the dammed.  This can be seen in the last supper where Jesus has palm down in the direction of Judas.    That scared  me and I even looked up the story of the Black Jesus statue in a cemetery in TX,   Scared the hell out of people cause they swear he goes palms down on them at night.  However, this palm down image I have also seen in healing and blessings.  At church this week  the priest made this same gesture when greeting children and patting them on the head or shoulder.

The Meaning

What does it mean?  First, of course it means,  I should continue to go to church and to be a better christian.  Many aspects of my life are a mess and I suffer from sloth and a great desire to lay back and amuse myself to death. Forget that, I'm going with Jesus In Sky with Michelob Amberbock Dark Lager or  JISMADL?  I just thought of this while typing and I feel comfortable with it.  The message is:

Jesus IS MAD - Love one another

LOVE one another was part of this weeks homily and I immediately thought of this image upon seeing the priest greet the children receiving their first communion.

BEER is proof that God LOVES us and wants us to be Happy!
Remember the Ben Franklin quote?  Its hanging in my Kitchen.  I hear he actually said something a bit more eloquent, but the same sentiment:

 "Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy."

You want to see picture?  I have enhanced and outlined since my incredible riviting  FB status.
"I think I just saw the image of Jesus in the sky. Do you see him? That's some good beer."

The Picture of JISMADL

I tried a few things using PhotoScape.  Finally, I did some outlines and made a GIF with Original.

Michelob Mango

Friday, April 22, 2016

Earth Day 2016!

Earth Day 2016!  Went back to grab some old pictures that remind me of the earth and the environment around me that we must protect!

Earth Day 2016

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

I Took a Walk

I took a walk today.  Normally, I don't, but I saw somewhere you should take about 10,000 steps a day.  That's a lot of steps!  During a work day,  without taking a walk, I doubt I would crack 1,000 steps.  Even with a short walk, I'd be lucky to get 5,000.  As a matter of fact, my phone tells me that the only time I went over 10,000 was the day I mowed the lawn and worked in the rose garden!

Where to walk?  It's all just a bunch of parking lots.  There is a an empty field to the back, but that is surrounded by a fence.  To the west is interstate 95 and to the south is a wooded area with interesting valley with an old train track at the bottom, but no trail to walk.  Finally,  its  occurred to me that I have never walked north in the parking lot along the fenced in area.  I see people walking that way all the time. I was thinking maybe there is something down here to see?  I walk as far as a can down the parking lot and though the woods I see a fairly deep valley and some water.  Yes, I know this place.  I had seen it on a map and from the road it appears as a big grassy hill hiding the valley.  This is where the geese like to play.  Always new there was some water over there and never cared to look.  Seems to be just some type of rain water runoff.  

Okay, so I walk through the lot and around a building to the road.  Here I stand in front of the big grassy hill.  I had seen some county workers walk up there before.    For a second I think maybe I'll fall down the valley and die!  No one would ever know I walked there!  Should I walk up there and take a peek?  Just at the top of the hill was a Gateway Goose.  The Goose appeared to be guarding something.  As I approached a bit closer, the Goose began to squawk and squawk, now I had to walk to the top.  I will take that as a welcome greeting.

Finally, I have reached the summit!  Here,  I scan the horizon and look across the valley and down over the water!  Immediately, I feel transported to another place and time!  The geese are still squawking, but fading in the distant valley.  Small birds fly past over the hill and by my feet!  The wind is gusting through the valley brushing back my hair.  I stand there concentrating and looking out in the distance with the wind in my face like I'm conjuring up a spell or some miracle is about to happen!  This only lasts for a few seconds as one slight movement of my head brings the office building back into focus.  For a moment,  I think is there a way to walk around the valley?  And again I see the buildings calling me.  The feeling comes over me that I don't belong here anymore.  This place is for the geese and that squawk was no welcome.  This is where the geese play.

I'm sure this place was not so great, but in my daily life of traffic, parking lots, cubicles, phones, computers, and buildings, it felt as though somehow,  I discovered paradise for those few seconds.  Will probably never feel that way again.

That daily life description?  Many of that is the good stuff, I left out the bad and evil things as I continue to amuse and entertain myself to death.

Paradise for a second

Private Goose Beach, KEEP OUT! SQUAWK! SQUAWK!

You know what?  It was probably more of a honk.


Friday, April 1, 2016

Black Aggie

Video from the Travel Channel click here! they will no longer allow it to be embedded.

I'm obsessed with this sculpture.  Video and Picture below.    

Excerpt From the above Washington Post linked article:

Buy this Black Aggie Shirt!
Henry was bereft. To memorialize Clover, he turned to one of America’s greatest sculptors, Augustus Saint-Gaudens. Henry had become fascinated by Eastern religion and, as art historian Cynthia J. Mills recounted in a 2000 article in the American Art journal, he asked the sculptor:

“to design an ideal figure embodying ideas similar to the Buddhist concept of nirvana: release from the cycles of life and death, desire and pain— an extinction of the passions, leading to inner quietude.”

The sculpture is know as the Adams Memorial.  Details are in the article link above. There are a few copies I wish to visit, The one that interests me the most is the unauthorized copy refereed to as Black Aggie.  There are at least 3 versions in DC to visit.  Maybe one day I will visit.  They should just give it to me since its unauthorized and the Smithsonian would not keep it.

Black Aggie Courtesy of vr4Sweet

Another link to a blog I read - Washington DC's Haunted Statue

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Scentsy Business Opportunity Review

Scentsy Business Opportunity Review Scentsy Business Opportunity Review
By David James Boozer
Scentsy was established in July of 2009 and has seen substantial growth with the guidance of it's CEO partnership of Heidi and Orvillie Thompson. The philosophy behind the company is based around "contributing more than you take." So how does this company's philosophy make for no smoke, soot or wax mess from a regular candle?
Scentsy's product line consists of a warmer that uses a low-watt bulb (wickless burner) to melt specially formulated wax slowly, maximizing the fragrance time of the Scentsy Bar or Brick. The warmer can also be designed to match d├ęcor for a particular room or a whole entire home. The slow melting system allows for no smoke, soot or wax mess to clean up, but adds the flare of a candle lit room with flickering light and specialized scent.
Through network and multilevel marketing the company uses individual distributors to market their product. Through party hosting in homes is the main platform used to sell the wickless burner system. Direct and or, network marketing can be hard for those without a large enough warm market to create a ground floor business with. Online marketing could help with marketing the products by using free methods and platforms. Internet marketing does come with a learning curve but the curve can be made simple through effective programs that can be found. Scentsy does offer some sales help and techniques while in the home and some offline lead gathering tactics, but for the most part it seems you will need to find further education.
To start your business with the company comes from contacting a company representative and a $99 dollar cost of starter kit. There is a $150 order fee every three month to continue you business partnership with Scentsy as well. The commission plan was not found on their website, but it can be assumed that there will be commission paid on the direct retail sales of the products with bonus levels to be met through recruiting others. There was no mention of team builder bonuses that are a norm for many network or multilevel marketing companies. The product choice is limited to only the wickless burner system and scent bricks, but do come in a variety of scents and styles that can also be personalized.
Through proven Internet marketing training and solid effort, David J. Boozer has transitioned from a successful top Insurance Producer to a successful Online Business owner and Entrepreneur. David believes through proven training and mentoring, anyone can find success online. To learn more about how to find success online and the potential of creating a lasting and passive income on the Internet please visit

SCENTSY - find joy in the journey

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